“A person is the expert of his/her own life.”
Step One: Be brave enough to know yourself.
When people visit the Self-Assessment Harbor at Serenity Wellness Oasis (Iriba ry’Ubuzima), they are invited to begin a journey. It is not a journey to another country or another city. It is a journey into themselves.
This special space teaches that every person should take time alone, introspect themselves and understand their own life. No one knows nor understands our pain, our thoughts, our dreams, or our loud and silent struggles better than we do. That is why the journey starts with courage. In Kinyarwanda, there is a saying:
“Umuntu ni we muhanga w’ubuzima bwe.”
A person is the expert of his/her own life.
The paintings around the space guide visitors through this journey, one step at a time.
The first painting shows a person carefully holding a smaller version of themselves in their hand. It reminds us that we must first become friends with ourselves.
The message says:
“Be courageous, know yourself, then examine yourself.”
Self-assessment begins with courage. Many people spend their lives understanding everyone else while avoiding their own story. But healing begins when we dare to look honestly into ourselves, and accept to explore in discomfort of painful stories.
Step Two: Ask Yourself, “Who Am I?”
Another Kinyarwanda proverb says:
“Ijoro ribara uwariraye.”
The night is best described by the one who spent it.
People may see our smile, but only we know our hidden fights. Others may see our success, but only we know the complications and hardships behind it. That is why self-assessment must begin from within.
The next painting shows someone standing in front of a mirror asking,
“Ndi nde?” – “Who am I?”
The walk through the path of understanding yourself is not completed in one day. It is a lifelong journey.
The Space invites every visitor to ask simple but important questions:
- Who am I?
- How do I think?
- What gives my life meaning and purpose?
- What emotions do I carry?
- What fears do I carry, and where do they come from?
- How do I behave?
- What are my hidden secrets that I do not feel comfortable sharing?
- What are my greatest strengths?
- What kind of person am I becoming?
These questions are not meant to make us feel judged. They help us become aware of ourselves. Before changing anything in life, we must first understand where we are standing.
Step Three: Look back and ask yourself, “Where did i come from?”
The next section asks another important question:
“Ndava he?” – “Where am I coming from?”
This special space encourages visitors to reflect about their own history.
Think about:
- Where was I born?
- How was my childhood like?
- Who raised me?
- What life experiences have made me who I am today?
- What happy moments do I remember?
- What painful moments are still with me?
- What lessons from my past do I still carry with me today?
There is another Kinyarwanda saying:
“Utazi iyo ava ntamenya iyo ajya.”
The person who does not know where he/she is coming from can never know where he/she is heading to.
Our past does not control us forever, but it helps explain why we think, feel and act the way we do today.
Step Four: Ask Yourself, “Where Am I Now?”
After understanding the past, visitors are invited to ask:
“Ngeze he?” – “Where am I now?”
This is about today’s reality.
This special space encourages people to ask themselves:
- Why do I react this way?
- Why do I think like this?
- Why do I carry these emotions?
- How do I cope with negative and destructive emotions?
- Why do I keep experiencing the same problems?
- What is helping me grow?
- What is holding me back?
Many people want to change their future without first understanding their present.
Knowing where we are today helps us understand what still needs healing and what strengths we already have.
Step Five: Ask, “Where am I going?”
The next painting asks:
“Ndajya he?” – “Where am I going?”
Without direction, people may keep moving without reaching the life they want. This space reminds visitors that meaningful progress begins with a sense of direction; when we do not know where we want to go, every road can appear correct.
At this point, people begin to reflect about their future. They are welcome with the assessment questions like:
- What kind of life do I want?
- What kind of relationships do I want?
- What kind of person do I want to become?
- What goals or dreams am I committed to pursuing?
- What challenges might complicate my journey?
- What strengths do I have to fight whatever that might stand in my way?
Hope begins when we choose a direction.
Step Six: Am I going in circles?
Other painting shows a person trapped inside a circle.
The question is:
Am I going around in circles?
Sometimes life feels busy, but nothing changes.
Some people keep repeating painful relationships.
Some repeat unhealthy thinking.
Some repeat destructive behaviors.
Some remain trapped in fear, avoiding opportunities that could help them grow.
Some keep blaming themselves or others, preventing healing and personal responsibility.
Some continue living according to other people’s expectations, never discovering the life they truly want.
Others use alcohol or drugs to escape emotional pain, only to create even more suffering.
Instead of moving forward, they keep returning to the same place.
The space asks visitors:
- Am I trapped by sadness?
- Am I trapped by fear?
- Am I trapped by unhealthy habits?
- Am I trapped by addiction?
- Am I trapped by harmful thinking?
- Am I trapped by unreasonable decisions?
Recognizing these cycles is the first step toward breaking them.
Step Seven: Name Your Problem
The next painting shows a table with different objects and this one also holds a message.
“Ibuye ryagaragaye ntiriba rikesha isuka.”
A stone that has become visible is no longer able to damage the hoe.
Once you clearly see the problem, you stop searching blindly.
This special space encourages people to give their problems a name or names.
If your struggle had a name, what would it be?
Some people say:
- Fear
- Grief
- Loneliness
- Anger
- Addiction
- Trauma
- Shame
- Depression
- Darkness
- Dangerous Animal
- Unwelcomed visitor
- Etc.…
Naming the problem does not make it bigger, instead it makes it clearer. Once we know what we are fighting with, we can begin healing.
Step Eight: Remember that “Your story is bigger than your problems”
Another painting shows two chairs and reminds visitors of an important truth.
A person is not made of only one story.
Yes, everyone has problems that he/she is fighting with tirelessly.
But everyone also has strengths.
Everyone has abilities.
Everyone has moments of courage.
Everyone has hope.
The space invites people to explore every part of their life story.
Ask yourself:
- What is my story of pain?
- What is my story of strength?
- What is my story of survival?
- What is my story of hope?
Healing happens when we remember that our problems are only one chapter, not the entire book.
Step Nine: Many Roads Are Before You
The final painting shows different symbols representing different life paths.
Its message says:
“Inzira ntibwira umugenzi.”
“The road does not tell the traveler where to go.”
Life always gives us choices.
Some roads lead toward healing while others lead toward more pain.
The space encourages visitors to carefully examine every part of themselves before choosing their next step.
They are invited to look at:
- Their thoughts.
- Their emotions.
- Their body.
- Their behaviors.
- Their relationships.
- Their environment.
- Their beliefs.
- Their temperaments.
- Their strengths and weaknesses.
By understanding all these areas, visitors become better prepared to choose a healthier path.
A journey that begins with one honest step.
The Self-Assessment Harbor is not about finding quick answers. It is about learning to ask honest questions.
Visitors begin by knowing themselves.
They explore where they came from.
They understand where they are today.
They decide where they want to go.
They identify repeating cycles.
They name their struggles.
They recognize their strengths.
Finally, they choose the path they want to follow.
This journey reminds us that healing begins with awareness. Before changing our lives, we must first understand our lives. As the Harbor teaches, every person carries both pain and strength. When we courageously examine ourselves, we become better able to build a future filled with purpose, resilience, and hope.
Self-assessment is not the end of the journey it is the beginning of a new one.
Start your Self-Assessment Journey here Step by Step
Continue to the Second Healing Kit From Past Experiences ” Facing our Problem”
This is the next step in your journey. After understanding yourself, you begin to face what is difficult in your life.
video about self assessment